Some of the kindest, warmest, friendliest, toughest and most resilient people I’ve met and have in my life come from so-called “broken homes” or what society would describe to be “unconventional families,” which is a sign that it definitely can be done, raising an upstanding member of the community in spite of all the domestic and social challenges we face. That’s why people like me exist as well – social workers and the like to perhaps fill the voids in the lives of those people who aren’t as lucky as those of us who’ve had the benefit of a complete family structure to count on.
All of this only serves to highlight and reinforce the belief that the ultimate value by way of stability and balance any growing child can have resides in the traditional, nucleic family structure. Again, I’m not saying every person who grew up outside of this traditional, nucleic family structure is a bad person or anything of the sort; far from it. What I’m saying is that as with everything in life, there are proven routes one can take which will perhaps serve the traveller of those routes much better than someone who elects to walk down a different path to the same destination and this applies to the family structure surrounding a growing child as well.
The unfortunate bit of the equation, however, is the fact that this privilege of being able to grow up within the traditional, nucleic family structure is not a choice at all. It’s either you do or you don’t and it’s not up to you…
We have a brother-and-sister duo, both of whom are good friends of ours who are all grown up now – the dude is 29 and the gal is turning 24 later this year. Both of their parents are still alive and somehow I just don’t know if they’re aware just how lucky they are, particularly since their biggest worry right now is the fact that their parents are putting them under pressure to go out and each make some grandbabies for them!
The elder of the two is a bit crazy, by his own admission and he just sees the world differently to everybody else I know! Now what I’m getting at is the fact that his true character and true nature has been given the ultimate platform to flourish because of the balanced domestic environment he grew up in, comprised out of a mother, a father and a sister.
This has probably honed his communication skills over the years and it has helped him learn how to deal with people of his own gender and also with those of the opposite sex, perhaps with a deeper level of understanding as he was there every step of the way to witness the challenges faced by members of the opposite sex.
What to do? I’m really not trying to offer any solutions to any “problem” or challenge as there aren’t any such problems or challenges. I’m merely pointing out the value that can still be attained by those who are lucky enough to be part of the traditional, nucleic family structure, just so that you can count your blessings and make full use of the advantage you have.